All Our Bruised Bodies
by pariloo
Summary: Upon unveiling an extremely immense truth about himself, Hide's parents aren't precisely delighted with him. Gratefully, he finds consolation with Kaneki and his friends from Anteiku. AU where Hide has troubles with his family and his companions are left to collect his many shattered segments.
1. Understanding

A relieved grin broke out across Kaneki Ken's face as the heel of one wrist finally managed to push up the window frame to let in some cool oxygen. A recent paint job coupled with Tokyo's unforgiving summer humidity made the struggle for fresh air a worthwhile endeavor.

Chill, brisk air breezed its way into the room as the raven-haired ghoul retreated back into a novel and typically upholstered chair. A limpid sigh flees his lips as he makes a languid effort of tuning out the mirthful interaction between Hinami and Touka, respectively bestrew on the oak flooring.

The two were observing Hinami's collection of Littlest Pet Shops. The brunette minor picks up one of the plastic toys in her palm which happens to be a bird, raising it to the blue-haired girl's eye level.

"Onee-chan! Look at this one! It's a pigeon!"

"Oi, Hinami. Don't put that in my face." Touka visibly stiffens and scoots back a bit.

"Aww! It's so cute, though!"

"Hinami!"

The preceding evening soon marked that it was nearly time for 'dinner.' Touka and Hinami came over to Kaneki's apartment for supper every Saturday where they could hang out freely amongst each other. They didn't eat at the table jointly, really. That was mainly just because female ghouls didn't like being watched consuming their food, which Kaneki was exceptionally fine with.

But this time it wasn't because of supper. A pipe in Hinami and Touka's place back at Anteiku had blown and leaked the entire apartment. So Kaneki invited them to stay over, which resulted in Hinami claiming that it was a slumber party.

Indeed, the "slumber party" thrown the night before by Kaneki had been largely about celebrating Touka and Hinami staying over. Hide even came. And then there was act of putting off thinking about the impending weight about to be placed upon their shoulders. The summer had been designated for balancing time with friends, and hoarding away as much cash as possible before the start of new school year.

It would've been a lot more fun if Hide had brought his happy-go-lucky personality with him. The boy had stayed over but left quite early in the morning without a warning. Even before so, the blonde hadn't been acting like himself. 'Dejected and disconsolate' as Touka described it. Kaneki had sent his friend a text in the morning, and there was still no reply.

Maybe he was busy.

It was only the moment that Kaneki decided to pull his feet into the overstuffed chair that there came a knock at the front door. Dividing her friend's unorthodox curiosity, Touka solely raised an arched eyebrow and left him to implore as to what sort of person came firmly knocking during the inky hours of the drizzly evening.

Crossing the room, Kaneki nearly turned back after a too long period between knocks. And then, there it was again, a little bit thunderous and more insistent than the first time.

Turning the lustrous yellow knob, the boy was partially unprepared for the young man standing on the other side of the threshold damp with rain.

"Hide?"

"Hey, Kaneki." Hide's voice was laced with flawed informality and he wore a doleful smile. Not the usual one. An overnight bag was dangerously close to slithering entirely off his slumping shoulder.

"Is Touka and Hinami in there? I thought I heard them talking." He arched his neck in an attempt to look past Kaneki into the brightness of the apartment. The half-ghoul knew his friend was trying to procrastinate in telling him why he was there.

"Oh, yeah. They are." Kaneki nods, lips in a tight line. Silence.

Once Hide figures that the raven-haired male was just going to wait for an answer as to his sudden appearance, he shifts from foot to foot, façade immediately falling.

"Is it okay if I stay here again tonight?"

The implication behind Hide's words pushed Kaneki's heart into the notch of his burning throat.

It was obvious that his friend was having complications at home with his family, but was it getting to the point to where he didn't want to stay at his own house? The blonde wouldn't tell Kaneki what was happening, and once the pale boy brought something up relating to the topic, he'd try to change the subject. Still, Kaneki never pushed his friend into telling him.

"O-Of course!"

He wouldn't make Hide say it. It had been enough finding him standing on a doorstep he had not been required to knock at for so many years. Taking his bag, Kaneki ushered him inside.

The artificial half-ghoul sets Hide's bag down by the armchair upon walking into the living room. Hinami jumps up once she notices Hide's arrival, the pet shop dropping from her hand. She runs over to the teen and presents him with a tight embrace. "Onii-chan!"

It seemed that the young girl and older male were growing closer each visit.

Touka still remains on the floor with a bored expression on her face, plastic cat in her palm as she gives some sort of wave with a free hand. Yet, her lavender eye drags over to Kaneki, a questioning look buried in her regard.

"Hey, you little goofball." Hide plasters a false smile onto his countenance at the youngster. He ruffles the brown locks numbly with a hand. Luckily, the girl with her eye covered from a long fringe of bangs cuts in.

"Hinami, let Kaneki talk to Hide. What about this one? I think it's my favorite." She holds up the malleable kitten, shooting a glance at Kaneki. Hinami returns back to her spot on the floor, talking about the designs on the toy and how she agreed. This was his chance to grab the orange-haired companion and have a little talk. Yet when Kaneki turns back around, Hide is gone.

* * *

Grabbing the overnight backpack, Kaneki made for the room that had been designated as Hide's whenever he stayed over, making certain to dodge the same odious floorboards along the way.

Undoubtedly, Hide had perceived him coming. It didn't change the fact that Kaneki stood outside, standing close to the shut door in an ailing effort to listen for any pointers of wanting to be left solitary. Or worse yet, evidence of anguish.

Taking a deep breath in knowing that his familiar were aware of his presence, Kaneki softly rapped his soft knuckles against the mature wood.

"Hide?"

The air around him filled itself with a questionable silence before finally being broken as Hide cracked open the door.

"Hiii Kennnnn." It was obvious that he was still trying to sound upbeat, another false grin glued to his lips. Something wasn't right in his voice, something distorted and weighing the cheerful tone down by a lot.

"Hey, Hide." Kaneki tried to muster his best grin. "Just making sure you're alright."

The grin fades and he doesn't bother to revive the fallen soldier. Without advisory, Hide grabbed him by the shirt, pulling Kaneki inside before shutting the door.

Kaneki is very confused, especially when Hide's fingers turns the lock on the partially rusted doorknob. He turns and sits on the edge of the bed.

"H-Hide..?"

"Sorry if you tried texting me today. They took away my phone."

Forgoing words entirely, the ghoul brought himself to rest beside Hide, who, sitting on the edge of the bed, rubbed his face in what seemed as a signal of distress.

"Hide, what's wrong?"

The anxiety curled into the blonde's stomach, hands clawing up his throat and choking him. His mouth opened to let free the words he'd practiced over and over again in the mirror only to be dragged back down his esophagus and dissolved into the acid of his stomach. All he can worry about is keeping himself from falling off the bed. All his nerves were on edge.

No, he had to ask.

"Is it wrong to love someone?"

Kaneki, seemingly taken aback by the question, leans forward a bit. Was this what his family was upset about? Hide going out with a girl they didn't approve of? Seemed like a really vapid reason. "No, I don't think so unless you really like them.. Who's the lucky girl?"

"Both."

The word comes so fast out of Hide's mouth that they sliced the end off of Kaneki's sentence. His hands are in fists, and it seems the tow-haired male's strength to hold his head up high has dwindled away. Either that or the cream-colored carpeting of the floor is more interesting than Kaneki himself.

"H-Huh?"

"Both genders. I like them both."

There's a long silence.

And Kaneki finally understands. Hide was.. bisexual? He's focused on the boy beside him who was now chewing on the inside of his cheek. Hide was scared that he was going to.. what..? Because of _that?_

Hide can't manage to look Kaneki in the eye. He doesn't want to see the look on his face when Kaneki decides their friendship is over. Kicks him out. He doesn't want that image. The words themselves would be hard enough to get out of his head. He didn't need to add a visage of utter dismay or worse- disgust.

"That's fine. Hide, what, did you think I would- No way, Hide."

The blonde's chin rises quickly, meeting olive eyes. Kaneki was.. accepting him? But his parents..

"Your parents don't agree though," Kaneki mutters and once the words slip past his lips, Hide's broad shoulders slump visibly and a sense of hollowness engulfs the blonde.

"They must have been contemplating about whether or not to disown me during that time."

"Hide, no. Stop."

"But I don't have a cell phone now. All my contacts are gone. What if I got _hurt_ or something?" He made a sweeping gesture with one hand, its hostile and belligerent undercurrent cut brief by Kaneki catching it midair.

"I have Touka's number. I don't know about the others, but.. Tomorrow I'll buy you another phone."

"Kaneki, no."

"Yes."

Hearing Kaneki's words swathe around him, an automatic sense of comfort enveloped his figure, insinuating that finally, he would be able to forget for awhile.

Kaneki accepted him. Yet, Hide needed to get this off of his chest.

"I did _everything_. Everything I could have ever done to make them happy with me, I did it. But you want to know what's really shit?" Holding off any verbal response, Kaneki accepted the words as a rhetorical question.

"I overheard my mom talking about this new person where she works. She explained to my father that they were guy and said how it was a shame that someone could ruin their personality with the sin of being _different._" There's a small pause before Hide continues.

"-And then the look on my little sister's face was abashing. I was seventeen and I hadn't said _anything_ to anyone. But she just gave me this pitiful look, like she _knew_, and was trying so hard not to put on a pitiable expression for me. And I still feel like apologizing to my parents. I mean, how the hell do you express regret for that?"

This wasn't Kaneki's bit, but all the same he found himself wondering who he could vent to about how incredibly awful Hide's family was. That their only son did his best to simultaneously love them while making a long-term escape plan just in case they refused to love him back.

He was trembling ever so slightly, just enough that Kaneki could pick it up. The finality of his childhood was not occurring on the yard of some fraternity, or within the pages of a make-or-break exam. Instead, it was terminating at the hands of his parents refusal to accept the idea of who their son was born to love.

"Hide, listen to me." His voice was thick with importance requiring swift action. Seeing Kaneki like this would have been attractive to a great degree if it were not for the circumstances surrounding it.

"They are your parents, I know that. But your happiness is not something you should have to pay for. If they can't understand then.. Hey, you can stay with me for as long as you want."

Hide seems to take this in like a sponge before nodding. The tremors in his shoulders have stopped.

"Thanks man."

And Kaneki thought. Just thought. A little bothersome bubble that popped into his head.

What if he, too..

* * *

_Everyone's probably wondering where all these Tokyo Ghoul fanfics are coming from, haha._

_It's just the ending of the manga really hurt my heart so I'm sort of venting throughout writing. Bwahah._

_Here, have some Kaneki x Hide?_

_Please ignore any typos. _

_I may make another chapter. I dunno. Tell me what you think. vwv_

_Thanks for reading~ _


	2. Counseling

He isn't surprised when he hears it – he plugs his ears too late, and what comes bleeding in is a sickening tremor, a cavity rusting away the soft comfort of a voice he knew in every tone and every broken splinter but not _this_, nothing like this, the starved gasping that says, once, twice, panicked, hopeless, _"Hide, listen."_

He's had enough.

"Group counseling?" Hide's mouth falls open at his mother. He was disgusted by the pity in her eyes. He didn't need counseling, he was fine. "You've got to be kidding me."

The blonde throws his head to the side, lifting his lips into a grimace of hurt as he ran his tongue over his back teeth, a trick he used to manage anger and some choice language.

"Look, Hide, it's what's best. We can fix you," His mother stated, using that tone and body language he hated, that shit that told him she was being fake about her concern.

"I can't be fixed!" He snapped, standing up.

"Hideyoshi!" His father shouted in an attempt to get him to calm down. "We've seen how you look at other...boys. It scares us. We just want to help. Your mother and I..we both _know_ this will help you."

"I don't need help!" Hide fumed, the anger rolling off him in waves with the heaves of his shoulders as he panted, eyes wild.

"You're just confused." His father muttered, skewing a piece of mildly burnt chicken onto his fork.

"Confused..What?! No! No counseling, no ganging up on me like this!"

No one says a word then.

It's a thankful habit, stopping right before he can **_break_** and **_scream_** and **_plead_**, but also a frustrating one, because everything piles and piles and piles up until it is all dropped.

Let go.

His parents words only made everything worse, contributing to the building pain that grew and filled the hollow holes in his heart, leaving no room for escape.

Hide can't have someone cracking the code of how to ignore them or how to get rid of them. His parents.

_ "You're broken. You can be fixed with prayer and God."_

Those words. Those words frosted over with hatred and blunt hostility was just a little reminder of what Hide may hear mixing with the gurgle of his blood when it's time for him to go. The words that sent chills down his vertebrae. The words that scared him.

_No one wants to be blamed for being crazy and hearing it._

_**No one wants to be called a child for being scared of a thing that can't even touch you.** _

* * *

Needless to say, the pleading didn't work. A pissed Hide was dropped off at the counseling building at 11:00 A.M. that following Saturday. He had grumbled, even sworn, and listened to loud music through his headphones during the entire car ride. Not that it helped him any.

Hide walked into the place, having been rid of his mother outside the door, with his hood up, head slouched and hands dug into his jacket pockets.

He heard the instructor before he saw her.

She was an attractive woman with long red hair, parted down the center and worn loose, adjourned with a black corset dress with sheer neck and arms, showing generous cleavage. Her voice was cheery and lifted, flamboyant undertones sparking off its octaves. A name tag was pinned to one of her breasts with the name _Itori_ scribbled on it.

"You must be Hide. Come on, we're just about to start!"

Pathetic, he raises his headphones and places them over his ears, keeping his gaze directed on the floor. A part of him wants him to look back up – maybe her voice was just closer than he thought, more angry than he thought, more dead. Maybe he was going to get a squeeze on the shoulder and then his Mom would appear and say, _"It's alright. We accept you."_

Hide can't help thinking it's his own fault he stands here, that his parents decisions were compromised by the fear of not getting grandchildren and the fear of his loyalty towards God - his fault that there's a certain word sizzling weakly behind everyone's lips, a word he's scared to say for the possibility of it summoning him again.

_Bisexual._

He looks back up and realizes the woman had pulled him along. The male blinks at the wide circle of chairs that were now in front of him skeptically; they were about half filled with kids about his own age, late teens mind you. These people weren't really speaking beyond idle small talk – they felt the discomfort in it, and that in itself is even more uncomfortable, because if there's anyone they've depended on to be at ease with, it's each other.

But what really caught Hide's eye was the boy slouched in his chair.

He had pale skin, olive eyes, and short black hair, seemingly avoiding eye contact with anyone as he picked at a fingernail. And then this boy looked up and gave an awkward smile, both olivine orbs glittering with _sadness,_ _pity,_ and something else just plainly _foreign._

His words fall straight through him, their only impact the growing shake in the bottom lip he tucks between his teeth, muscles contracting in his throat around words he maybe never got the chance to say, and body twitching with the infinite escape he never earned.

One thought scrambles in Hide's mind.

**_What is Kaneki doing here?_**


End file.
